Tag Archives: adulthood

30 breaths at 30 years.

There’s a common thread that courses through everyone’s lives: cliché’s.  We believe our lives are distinctly unique.  And they are, if in no other way than the order in which events unfold in them and the way we react to them.  But the grand themes are typically the same: love, loss, finances, career, and the social experience.

My 20’s were a cliche, albeit a fringe one at times.  I’ve slept in my car, gone hungry, lived in six states, was fortunate enough to see 30, and spent a decade searching for who I was and what I had within myself that I felt since I was a kid would attract to me a life of significance.  Is it not cliche that I spent my 20’s peeling back layer after layer of myself in an almost desperate search for that?  I am 30 years old today.  I don’t care much about this day, however I care a great deal not only about my future, but learning how to wield each moment intentionally because in reality, every moment can bring me closer to my goals and my dreams if I handle it correctly.

The last year can be seen as one of my worst, but the way I see it now is that it was the last care package life sent me as a 20-something year old.  Because of this last year I have grown personally in ways I never imagined and I will use it to make a better life.  I changed paths, now walking the road of adulthood.  This is exactly what is meant by “life is what you make it.”  I feel more like an adult, psychologically if nothing else.  Physically, I’ve retained a stick figure physique (big head included) but will be addressing that.

My father died.  I say that to myself a lot.  It’s very difficult to wrap my mind around and sometimes I feel like he never existed – it’s a painful double edged sword.  My daughter was born.  I went through hell and back with her mother.  I broke my hand while working like someone who makes six figures as my paychecks flat-lined.  I went through more personal growth in the last year than I have in the previous 27.  The landscape of my life is newer but the rumble of thunder and the pricks of lightning are still heard and seen because this isn’t over yet but I will take this day to look back and acknowledge what I have thus far done.  Good for me.  Good for my daughter.  Good for my family.  And good for my company.

I am becoming a master trainer.  I am becoming my family’s economic powerhouse.  I am becoming a great communicator.  I am becoming an inspiration to everyone around me.  I am continuing to thrive through every single challenge lying in wait because that’s who I am.  I’m made of fire and iron and I’ve made it this far through the most traumatic year of my life with a bigger heart still beating and tenacity that deserves a goddamn trophy.  And because of it, I am finding myself.  I’m a fortunate man.  I’m a happier man at 30.

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