I see no snakes on this motherfu*king plane!

I am en route via giant metal bird (airplane) to Cleveland, Ohio to launch a new career path.  The smell of interior plastic and passenger breath nearly knocks me out from it’s exquisiteness.  By exquisiteness I mean it smells boring. Intermittent cut-ins by the pilot of: “Gooood morning folks-uhhhhhh we’re running on time this morning and expecting clear skies out of Phoenix-uhhhhhh……..uhhhhhh……..we’re simply wasting time up here in the cockpit uhhhhhh, making fun of the discomfort you all feel as you realize how awkward it is to be sitting so close to eachother, clearly violating each others auras-uhhhhhh hopelessly watching your prayers for having the seat next to you remain empty go unanswered-UHHHHHH……”*click*
I’m writing this from 35,000 feet in the air. That makes me better than all of your mancestors, men-ancestors combined, reader. If you’re reading this from a minimum of 35,000 feet in the air then we will duel for supremacy. In the air. Hang on, the captain has some more ‘uhhhhhhing’ to do.
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