Last night, a penta-cluster of black widows was discovered loitering at my address of residence. The sonar security system I had installed months earlier that emits a high pitched frequency that can only be heard by young adult web crawlers — and in turn drive them away — did not phase these emo-arachnids. Which means that they are over forty and can talk my sonar system to death with life-experience. Upon inspection, I took note of many bbw’s (baby black widows) running amok, upsetting the establishment of my carport. I put an end to it immediately.
The picture posted above is not of the earlier referenced spidey-sads, but is of one of my roommates who I’m quite sure is casting black magic spells on me at worst or working as a conduit for bad energy and filling the house with it at best. Skeptical? Perhaps you should consult the tv psychic I sought for counsel and confirmation. Face! This year has been a bad one for roommates but I am grateful to say that such undesirable circumstances will soon come to an end and the love of my life and I will be in our beautiful new and first home! Clean start to a brighter future.
Currently playing: “Just What IAm” featuring King Chip (Produced by KiD CuDi).