Just say no to Bed, Bath & Beyond. We now know what fills the alleyways of the beyond section. Bath Salts. If you’re looking for ‘Himalayan tangerine rose water’ to scrub your brain with – in a pristine and delightfully smooth sensation that induces paranoia and cannibalism, then keep reading.
Coming from a place of seriousness and objectivity, I have offered a real life snapshot of my reaction to experimentation with this street hoo-hah known as ‘bath salts’. As you can see, I am ecstatic, terrified, and quite humorously stressed out. Look how pretty my eyes are, though.
Some news stories have surfaced on network media of cannibalism and in turn, sub genre pop culture has called it a sign of the zombie apocalypse. If you can’t reach Woody Harrelson, remember that anyone approaching you with a face similar to this is best to avoid and/or strike down in the most ridiculous of ways. They’re likely hungry and therefore grouchy.